The speaker should cultivate sincerity in his conversation. He will avoid formal compliments and empty platitudes. He will not talk like a book. He will not talk for talking's sake. He will speak for a purpose, and this will enable him easily to concentrate his mind upon the subject of his conversation. He will listen attentively and interestedly to others. Above all, he will not speak of himself unless obliged to do so, and then briefly, modestly, and gently.
In what manner, then, shall he speak" Newman's definition of a gentleman here rings in our ears: '' He guards against unseasonable allusions or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favors when he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort; he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best."
This self-discipline begins naturally with deep breathing. Many men do not realize that the manner in which they breathe affects their attitude of mind. It is altogether too common to use but one half of the breathing capacity. A man who breathes only with his upper chest is without the vigor and vitality essential to a high degree of self-confidence. Deep breathing should be practiced daily until it becomes an unconscious habit.
What is the remedy for this dreaded self-consciousness? It is mainly a matter of securing control of one's thoughts and intelligently directing them. The mind is a machine, which must be made obedient to the owner's will. When brought under subjection, it will serve man's highest and best purposes, but left to itself it may run easily to confusion and destruction. Here you perhaps interpose: "But my mind wanders." Then go after it and bring it back. You say you can not? Who is operating your mind? Does it run itself? What would you think of a train that had no engineer, no conductor, no one to direct it, and was allowed to run anywhere? Yet this is what you permit with your train of ideas. Be sensible. Take hold of yourself seriously. Set your will to work. Straighten your spine. Take time to-day for mental overhauling. You are about to educate your will and it is serious business. Procrastination will not do. From this time forward resolve to control and direct your mental powers for definite purposes.
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